Pat Robertson Races to Say Something Crazy About Haiti

Up to 100,000 dead in Haiti. Fortunately, Pat Robertson is ready to put it all in perspective:Christie, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French, you know, Napoleon the Third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact with the devil.

Dueling Headlines: Martha Coakley Edition

Reporter falls, clashes with aide while trying to question Democrat seeking Kennedy’s old seat    – The LA TimesReporter takes stumble chasing Mass. candidate    – The Boston GlobeWeekly Standard Reporter Attacked Outside Democratic Fundraiser

GM Will Resell the Tiger Woods Crash Car

How much would you pay to drive the Tiger Woods Escalade — the one he crashed in November while (allegedly) being chased with a golf club by his wife Elin Nordegren?GM has stopped loaning Tiger Woods new cars, says USA Today’s Drive On column. But buried in the story is this nugget:

Conan O’Brien Statement — Transcript

[Conan O’Brien released this statement to the public this afternoon.]People of Earth:In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me.  For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky.  That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

What Has Lou Dobbs Learned?

Well, according to this Esquire piece, former cable television personality Lou Dobbs has learned a whole lotta things, growin’ up on the farm out west and attendin’ that high-falootin’ yoo-nee-versity called Harverd and heck, just bein’ a good ol’ true-blue ‘Merican who’s all the time fightin’ for the little guy.Oh, and he learned the quiet virtue of humility, too.

Lurid Gossip About John Edwards

An excerpt from Game Change, the new book about the 2008 presidential election, features details of the unsavory “implosion” of presidential aspirant John Edwards. The excerpt is titled “Saint Elizabeth and the Ego Monster.”

Mark McGwire: I Would Have Hit 70 Homers Without Steroids

So Mark McGwire told Bob Costas in their interview last night.Costas: “On the 98-99-2000 seasons…”McGwire: “I learned to hit.”Costas: “Could hit 70 home runs without steroids.”McGwire: “Absolutely. I was given this gift by the man upstairs.”Oh, dude, come on.