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Johnny Depp! You Don’t Have to Put on the Pasty Makeup!

  • “There’s no denying Depp’s gifts and abilities, but this performance feels both indulgent and something we’ve all seen before.”

    “Johnny Depp brings doom and gloom to his role as the Mad Hatter.”

    “There isn’t much to him, really — he’s just a smiling Johnny one-note with a secret hip-hop dance move — and so we start to react to him the way that Alice does to everything else: by wondering when he’s going to stop making nonsense.”

    Look, Tim Burton is not my cup of tea and never has been.  Fine.  He does his zany-nightmare visual thing and he has his audience. He doesn’t need my approval.

    But does he have to take Johnny Depp down with him?

    Johnny, break free!  Enough with the pasty-faced Edward Scissorhands, pasty-faced Willie Wonka, pasty-faced Sweeney Todd, pasty-faced (animated!) Corpse Bride husband, pasty-faced Mad Hatter!  You could be doing so much more with your time than putting on pasty white makeup and acting crazy for Tim Burton! 

    Life is short.  Less dolor and more Dillinger, please.

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