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J.R.R. Tolkien is Spinning in His Grave (and Coming Up 7-7-7)

  • Author and scholar J.R.R. Tolkien earned a first-class degree from Exeter College in 1915, fought in World War I, spent decades deep in study of ancient liguistics and philology, taught at Oxford as the Rawlinson and Bosworth Professor of Anglo-Saxon, and spent another two decades writing the great epic tales he is known for… all leading to this august moment:

    Yes, the Lord of the Rings slot machine. Now available at a casino near you!

    This particular version was spotted at the Paris Las Vegas. (You can see the framework of the Eiffel Tower at top right.) But the Lord of the Rings slot machines are apparently paying big all over.

    Because that’s what the devoutly Catholic and deeply thoughtful Tolkien would have wanted.

    Nothing says “gambling fun!” like the lidless eye of Sauron.

    Here’s one thing hey got right: that nutty Elijah Wood frowny-fraidy-cat face from the movies. He’s supposed to look like he’s staggering under the frightful weight and terror of the One Ring… but instead he looks more like he just lost $500 at the craps table in the back room of the Prancing Pony. He’ll have to take the Greyhound Bus back to Bag End. Sad!

    And remember: Gollum is wild!

    Good to see that J.R.R. Tolkien’s estate is treating the esteemed author and his works with the dignity they deserve.

    See our biography of J.R.R. Tolkien »

     

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