Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson turns 40 today. What are you getting him?
Teeth-whitening is not a need.
Ego-boosting statues are also taken care of. He was named “Action Star of the Year” at CinemaCon last week:
“…Dwayne Johnson has taken his charismatic presence to the big screen and has proven over and over again that he can entertain audiences of all ages — whether it be in an action-packed film or in a family comedy. He thrills audiences around the world with exhilarating performances that leave them on the edge of their seats.”
The Rock was brought in to star in this summer’s G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation because the original made “only” $300 million. That’s star power! Friends call him “franchise Viagra” for his habit of reinvigorating film series like The Mummy and The Fast & the Furious.
The Man Can, “filled with all-natural soap and accessories from Maine”? I think not.
An M&M “Over the Hill” gift box, decorated with tombstones? You go first.
The American Gem Society suggests his May birthstone:
The emerald, a symbol of rebirth, is believed to grant the owner foresight, good fortune, and youth. Emerald, derived from the word smaragdus, meaning green in Greek, was mined in Egypt as early as 330 B.C.
That’s it! There’s your gift: write him a new action screenplay. The Rock will star as Smaragdus, an ancient Greek hero with mystical powers. And a mystical emerald. And he’ll ride a dragon called Smaragdusaurus. It’s 300 meets Game of Thrones.
This should be easy enough. Happy birthday, Mr. Rock!